Friends you haven't met yet

The Prime Minister’s remarks about this country becoming an island of strangers have been rightly discredited, including by the man who made them.

It’s been such a joy moving city after thirty years in London. We’re gradually getting to know more of our neighbours but since the beginning of this year there was one neighbour we really needed to speak to that we hadn’t met yet.

At the bottom end of our garden, there is a stretch that borders the garden of a house in a neighbouring street. There are dense, mature shrubs along both sides of that shared border, but there’s no fence. If we want to get a dog, at some point in our beyond-cats future,  we will need to make that section secure. We're planning to get some fencing installed this summer as part of a number of other garden projects. 

Out of good neighbourliness, I was keen to pop round and introduce ourselves to whoever lived there and let them know in advance about the plans.  

But it was one of those tasks that kept getting put off, slipping from one to-do list to the next. I was bizarrely nervous about it. I even saw the neighbour through the hedge a few times and almost called out to her but then I thought that a sudden hello from an unseen person beyond the hedge could well be alarming.

So the job got put off some more, until I finally managed to move it off the to-do list and into a time box. At the allotted time, I drafted a note introducing us and describing our plans with my phone number in case they weren’t in, and we popped round the other Saturday afternoon.  

Our garden neighbour, is lovely. Very pleased to meet us, very grateful that we’d let her know, very interested in our wildlife pond and patio refurb plans. That same evening she messaged to invite us to her street’s Summer party the following day. We met even more neighbours. It was great.

After the party, she was off to London to stay with her uncle and aunt.

It turned out I used to work for her aunt.

The reason I was putting it off was the fear of strangers, the fear of the unknown, that we all feel to a degree. The only way to combat this is to try to push past it and not let fear hold you back from getting to know new people and experience new things.

I learned that a friend may be waiting behind a stranger's face.

Maya Angelou

I reckon our garden neighbour is my latest example of a friend waiting behind a stranger’s face.

Last week, I wrote about how important listening is for leadership.

This podcast - What leaders get wrong about listening - articulates why listening is, in fact, the first discipline of leadership.

And why, for remote teams, you need to work even harder to be sure you're listening to everyone.

Employee pushback over return to work mandates continues with civil servants commencing industrial action.

If the government wants to increase productivity, I don't think forcing people to work where they don't want to is going to help.

One of my lovely subscribers asked me where the button to make a financial contribution had disappeared to. I turned it off while I was on a break and wanted to make sure I was back in the swing of regular publishing before turning it on again. It's now back - scroll down.

Thank you all for your support and encouragement. It honestly means the world ❤️

Useful links 🔗

My friend, Penny Wilson, is putting together the excellent-sounding Festival of Trusteeship during Trustees' Week in November.

Day of the Week 📆

Two Prides, one in Ballymena and one in Budapest, went ahead despite Northern Irish slurry and a Prime Ministerial (Or)ban.

What am I reading? 📚

I turned three in 1971 but I have heard it was a very good year for music.

In Never a Dull Moment, David Hepworth makes the case for it being the best year in music. He might be right although 1981 was quite good too.

What am I watching? 👀

David Hepworth also collaborated on 1971, the year that music changed everything.

What am I listening to?👂

As every year, I appreciated Glastonbury from a distance.

As every year, there was politics.

But, I particularly enjoyed En Vogue and Alanis Morisette.

Joy-giving things 😍

From the same team as the creators of Little Amal, The Herds are animal puppets currently making their way from the Congo basin to the Arctic circle, bringing together public art and climate change.

Wishing everyone a joyful weekend

Lucy x

If it’s your first time reading this newsletter, find out more about me here.

I write this newsletter because I believe in sharing progressive ideas that help us work towards a truly equal world.

Share it with your friends so they can read it too 📣

ChangeOut is created by Lucy Caldicott. You can find more about my work at ChangeOut.org. If you’re looking to have a chat about culture, leadership, purpose, equity, or a facilitated team discussion about any of those things, get in touch. You can also find me on Bluesky, Instagram, and, LinkedIn.

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