Showing Up

My coaching course at Henley Business School has been excellent so far. One of my main lessons has been how important it is to understand yourself in order to help other people. What are your own triggers, your behaviour patterns, your blind spots? It sounds obvious, but how many of us actually do this work before we step into leadership roles or try to support others? I'm finding the whole process as challenging as it is enlightening. It's making me a better coach, yes, but also a better consultant, a better colleague, and frankly, a better human.

The entire course is delivered online. I'd have preferred to do it in person at the campus in Henley but getting dates that worked around other commitments was tricky and you have to join, and stay with, the same cohort of learners for the whole nine month programme. At the start, I wondered how showing up online for blocks of two and three days at a time would work. Could we really build the trust and openness needed for this kind of learning through a screen? But it was incredible how quickly we became a strong, mutually supportive group.

There was something about being more intentional with the remote connection that built real intimacy. We had to work harder to create that bond, but perhaps that's exactly why it formed so solidly. The experience has made me think about what techniques from the course could help any team working remotely or in hybrid ways. Because the world of work has changed, and our ways of working haven't caught up yet.

I went to a whole team event recently where most people had their cameras switched off. I found myself staring at a grid of black squares with initials. It struck me as interesting. Not wrong, necessarily, but interesting. When we're not in the same physical space, what do we owe each other in terms of presence? Is it OK to have your camera switched off in a team meeting?

I'm genuinely not sure what the answer is. I know there are legitimate reasons: difficult home environments, bandwidth issues, video fatigue, neurodivergent needs. But I also wonder whether we're losing something when we're just voices and initials. How do we read the room when there is no room? How do we show up for each other when we're literally not showing up?

It was an honour to meet Dame Jacinda Ardern, former Prime Minister of New Zealand, at an event in Parliament this week with colleagues from the Fabian Women's Network and the Labour Women's Parliamentary Staff Network. We had a fascinating conversation about civility and mutual support in politics. The discussion wasn't just about getting more women into politics in the first place, though that matters enormously. It was about keeping them there. About creating cultures where women can flourish. About supporting each other through the relentless scrutiny and pressure. Jacinda spoke with such honesty about her own experiences. I was reminded that visibility matters, but so does sustainability.

Day of the Week 📆

Some online friends are doing #Vlogmas and are busy publishing a vlog for every day of December. I'm not doing it myself but maybe one year.

What am I reading? 📚

I'm loving Narrow Boat by LTC Rolt.

Tom Rolt bought a narrow boat in 1939, converted it to his specifications at Tooley's Boatyard in Banbury, and took it cruising around the canals of the Midlands with his new wife.

He grumbles a lot about modernity. I can relate.

What am I watching? 👀

Told through the experiences of some of the billions of people living today whose ancestor's lives were ripped apart by the actions of the British Empire, David Olusoga has made a fascinating and searing set of programmes for his BBC series, Empire.

How did a tiny island once rule over a quarter of the world's population, he asks.

What am I listening to?👂

This week I've been listening to a podcast about workplace "sludge". The presenter talks about the "bullshittification of work". Too much time in meetings. Too much admin. Too many projects and processes that don't actually move anything forward. Not enough time doing the productive work we're actually there to do.

How many of us spend our days feeling busy but not effective? Responding rather than creating? Attending rather than achieving? The charity sector is particularly vulnerable to this. We layer on governance and reporting and stakeholder management until the actual work gets squeezed into the margins.

Joy-giving things 😍

I met some friends for lunch at the Arrow Mill, near Alcester, in Warwickshire. The Arrow is a tributary of the Avon. It was pretty high!

One of the best things about moving has been living so close to such beautiful countryside. The Arrow Mill is just 30 minutes' drive away.

Have a lovely weekend

Lucy

If it’s your first time reading this newsletter, find out more about me here.

I write this newsletter because I believe in sharing ideas that help us work towards a truly equal world, particularly in the workplace.

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ChangeOut is created by Lucy Caldicott. You can find more about my work at ChangeOut.org. If you’re looking to have a chat about culture, leadership, purpose, equity, or a facilitated team discussion about any of those things, get in touch. You can also find me on Bluesky, Instagram, and LinkedIn.

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