What to Do If You're Being Bullied at Work: A Practical Guide for Staff and Managers

Workplace bullying isn't just uncomfortable. As I say in the video, it's dangerous, and yet so many people spend months, sometimes years, convincing themselves it's not really that bad, or that they're somehow the problem.

If you're trying to make sense of what's happening to you, or you're a manager working out how to respond to it in your team, this article will help you understand what bullying actually is, what you can do about it, and where to go if the situation is serious.

I'm Lucy Caldicott, founder of ChangeOut and an executive coach with thirty years of leadership experience in the non-profit and public sectors, including time as a CEO. I've experienced workplace bullying myself, and for a long time I didn't recognise it for what it was. I just thought I was the problem. I became more anxious, less confident, and increasingly convinced that the misery I was carrying to work every day was somehow my own fault. It wasn't. And if you're going through something similar right now, I want you to hear that clearly: it is not your fault.

What is workplace bullying?

Workplace bullying isn't a bad day, a clumsy comment, or a difficult conversation that didn't go well. It's a persistent pattern, repeated over time, where one person or a group uses power, formal or informal, to undermine, humiliate, or harm someone else. It shows up in all kinds of ways: constant criticism, social exclusion, having your work sabotaged or your ideas ignored, being left out of meetings you should be in, or being gaslit into doubting your own version of events. Sometimes it's loud and obvious. Often it's quiet and almost invisible, which is precisely what makes it so destabilising.

It's also worth knowing that bullying doesn't only flow downwards. Upward bullying, from staff towards a manager, is real and often goes unacknowledged because it doesn't fit the usual picture. If you're in a leadership role and you're on the receiving end of sustained disrespect or collective undermining, that matters too.

What should you do if you're being bullied at work?

The first thing I'd encourage you to do, before anything else, is talk to someone you trust. Not to build a case, just to get the thoughts out of your head and hear yourself say them out loud. That conversation alone can shift something.

Once you're ready to act, documentation is your most important tool. Keep a record of what happened, when, how it made you feel, and whether anyone was present. Most bullying happens out of sight, so don't be put off if there were no witnesses. Write it down anyway, and keep copies somewhere safe outside of work systems.

If it feels safe, a direct but calm conversation with the person concerned can sometimes be enough to stop the behaviour, particularly if they haven't registered the impact of what they're doing. Something as simple as "I'm not comfortable with that" can land with more force than you'd expect. But only attempt this if you genuinely feel safe doing so.

The next step is to understand your organisation's policies and your legal rights. Find your anti-bullying or dignity at work policy, read it, and know what it says. If informal routes haven't worked, or the situation is serious enough that they're not appropriate, you have the right to raise a formal grievance. ACAS has clear guidance on this if you're not sure where to start.

Whatever route you take, please don't try to manage this alone. Confide in trusted colleagues, lean on people outside work, and if the emotional toll is significant, consider speaking to a therapist or counsellor.

What should managers do about bullying in their team?

Your role here is not optional. Nothing erodes trust faster than a manager who dismisses a complaint, delays acting on it, or quietly protects someone causing harm because they're seen as a high performer. No one is above your organisation's values, and if they're being treated as though they are, that's a leadership failure.

Take every complaint seriously. Investigate promptly and impartially. Follow through with consequences that are proportionate and consistent. Check in with the person who has been targeted, not just once, but over time.

Key takeaways

Workplace bullying is a persistent pattern of behaviour, not a one-off incident. It can flow upwards as well as downwards. If you're experiencing it, document everything, understand your rights, and don't manage it alone. If you're a manager, act quickly, investigate thoroughly, and never protect a bully because of their performance. The culture of a team is set by how leaders respond when things go wrong.

The video above goes into more detail on all of this, including what to do when the bully is your own manager or a senior leader. If you'd like to talk through your situation with someone who's been in the room, you're welcome to get in touch. This is work I care about.